I identify with Judas Iscariot. Jesus has called me to be His disciple. He has worked in me and through me. I have personally witnessed His power and authority directly in my life. Yet I have decided to exchange Him for a meager thirty pieces of silver. I was so caught up in what He could do for me or give to me; and when I found out that I had to give up control — that I would not see the destruction of my enemies, that I would not have a share in an earthly kingdom — I betrayed Him. I sold HIM! I gave up the most valuable thing in the world for instant gratification of my flesh. Now my own blood is poured out, because I would not drink His cup. He offered His own body and blood for me. He gave everything for me, and I took all I could get. He trusted me with His money, His authority, His life. I should have come running into His open arms of forgiveness as He hung on that tree. Instead I hung myself on a tree, and have cursed myself. I have rejected my place in His ministry and apostleship and turned aside to go to my own place. I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.